Regretting Motherhood: A Study by Orna Donath


I read this book because one reason I didn’t want a child is I didn’t want to sign up for a commitment that I cannot fulfill, or something that I will regret later (though I rarely do regret).

What I don’t like about this book is when it portrays those mothers as “not having a choice”. They are adults and can and should bear the consequence of their actions. Social pressure and cultural conventions exerts pressure on all of us, and it is unfortunate that there is no “regret” button for kids, which is why this issue is special. It’s not because the regretful moms didn’t have free will. They did, but perhaps they did not know how to use it.

Nevertheless, the read itself brings new information around the variety of feelings people have towards their kids. — And the book collects the worst parenthood can get. That part is reassuring. Plus, a lot of people went into parenthood without knowing what to expect or thinking it through. So the solution is also simple: research and think before having a kid, if you have the privilege and luxury to do so.